


yearning

by asmaanixx



Category: Ishq Mein Marjawan 2
Genre: Angst, Episode 145, F/M, Internal Conflict, Introspection, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29564187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: Riddhima doesn't know who the man in front of her is; Vansh or Vihaan. But the inexplicable pull that she feels for him is undeniable.
Relationships: Riddhima/Vansh Raisinghania, Riddhima/Vihaan
Kudos: 3





	yearning

“I’m so sorry!” Riddhima quickly put down her champagne glass and grabbed some napkins. She immediately started dabbing at the spilled liquor that was soaking into his white shirt.

“It’s okay. Relax. Sirf champagne hi toh hai.” He put his own glass down and refilled Riddhima’s glass.

“Don’t you want to change?” She asked, hoping he would say yes.

He looked at her in disbelief. “No.”

“You should. Varna daag par jayega.” She told him.

He rested both glasses on the table, and glanced at her. Riddhima tried to keep her face as neutral as possible but she wasn’t too sure if she was succeeding in it. Vihaan grabbed the knife they had cut the cake with moments before and glided it down the buttons. Riddhima was left stunned for a moment. His shirt parted open as if the buttons weren’t made out of little plastics but butter instead. Keeping his eyes on her, Vihaan threw the knife aside, and began shrugging himself out of the shirt. Her cheeks heating up, Riddhima looked away. This isn’t what she wanted. He was supposed to take his shirt off whilst facing  _ away  _ from her. All she had to do was take a quick peek at his back and she would know once and for all as to who he was.

He threw the shirt purposely in her sight, making her slightly jump. He stepped towards her, and Riddhima deliberately kept her eyes down. 

“You know,” He twirled the end of her hairlock. “If you wanted me to take off my shirt all you had to do was ask. Champagne girane ki zaroorat nahi thi.”

Riddhima looked up at him with a heavy blush. She wished she didn’t have such an intense reaction to him. He was a greedy, manipulative and selfish man who didn’t give a damn about anyone other than himself. He gently touched the corner of her cheek, and her eyes grew wide. And yet, with his every little touch, Riddhima found herself being pulled towards him against her wish.

She broke her gaze with him and looked away. She took in a deep breath and tried to center herself. A useless act really, since Vihaan slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her against himself. The second she hit his bare chest, her knees wanted to buckle, and she probably would have too if it hadn’t been for him holding her up. She tried her best to not look at him or pay attention to the fact that she was pressed against his naked torso. A highly difficult task as he looped her hair behind her ear as a reminder of how close they were.

“Vihaan.” She mumbled, trying to get out of his hold.

“Riddhima.” His lips whispered in a husky voice.

She slightly shivered. He held both her hands, and looking her in the eye, placed a soft kiss on them.

_ Run away! _ Her mind screamed at her. But there was a foolish part that begged her to stay.

Still keeping his eyes on her, he led her hands around his body and rested them against his back. Riddhima breathed heavily at their close proximity.

“Relax.” He whispered to her. “Chu sakti ho.”

She trembled in her spot, but her fingers gently pressed on the skin underneath their tips. That same foolish part wanted to act on what he said and let her fingers run up and down every inch of his skin. But as soon as that thought hit her, she was racked with shame and guilt. This was her chance though. It’ll be awkward to simply ask him to turn around and show his back. If she can’t see it right away, then maybe she could at least feel his wound.

“Aise Riddhima.” He whispered.

He slipped his own hands beneath her cardigan and slid them up her back. She released a shaky breath as his hands went underneath her blouse and explored the hidden, hot skin. All coherent thought left Riddhima. How could she possibly think when she was feeling so good?

“Tum bhi karo.” He whispered again.

It took her fingers a few seconds to remember what they were supposed to do but once they did, they slowly began to travel up his back. Vihaan took in a sharp breath and pressed her even closer to himself.

She’s doing this for a good reason, Riddhima told herself. It’s just until she finds that wound that’s it. After that she will never allow herself to be in such a close vicinity to him. Her hands slid across to his shoulder blades and she watched his eyes grow wide. She was certain he could feel her heart pounding from where their chests were connected. She couldn’t help it though. If she knew how to put a stop to it, she would have done it a long time ago.

He brought his hands down to her lower back and she did the same against his. She didn’t feel a single indentation on his skin. Did he truly not have a scar? Maybe it healed. It has been three years after all. Or maybe he had gotten some cosmetic surgery done to cover it up. But Daadi had said that it was a life threatening injury. Such an injury on the back has to be somewhere on the spine. Given the way Vihaan has been moving up until now, he didn’t show a single sign of ever being injured.

Riddhima thought back to when he saved her so effortlessly from the goons. Or the way he moved so fluidly while playing basketball. Or even tonight while dancing in the party. He didn’t show a single sign of being in distress. So who was he? Vansh or Vihaan?

Riddhima turned her head when he leaned down. His lips pressed against the side of her head and she closed her eyes at the contact. Her heart skipped a beat when she was swept off her feet and was carried to the large sleeping area he had so beautifully decorated. She was placed gingerly atop soft red rose petals. She laid down and Vihaan followed. Hovering over her, he traced the side of her face like he had done minutes ago.

She was once again reminded of Vansh, and Riddhima didn’t know what she wanted anymore. Did she want the man in front of her to be Vansh? If he was, then what did that say about him? He took on the disguise of an impersonator to do what? Fool her? Emotionally and mentally torture her? No one else in the family knows about Vihaan. He could have easily arrived at any time and no one would have batted an eye. But no. He put on this elaborate act to fool  _ her _ . To get  _ her _ to bring him into the house.

Tears grew in her eyes as she realized she was never in control. Every single decision she had made was never her own. First Kabir manipulated her every move, and now it was Vansh. Did she have a single thing that she could call her own? Her falling in love - did she have any say in that or was that also pre-designed by these men?

She turned her head and closed her eyes. Tears leaked out from the corners.

A soft kiss was pressed against her cheek and many more carried on down to her neck.

But what if the man with her right now was truly Vihaan? Then what does that say about her? Is she really that fickle hearted? No, she can’t be.

She opened her eyes, and looked at the man who was showering her with so much love. The way he made her feel wasn’t foreign at all. The intensity in his eyes, the slight presses and brushes against her skin, the way he made her heart quicken by his mere proximity - it was all as familiar as her own breaths.

Vihaan did say that Vansh used to switch places with him at times. Did they do the same while being with her?

What does that say about Vansh? She refused to believe that he would send another man, even if he was his lookalike, to be with her. But what if he did? How long did she even know him for? Four months? In that time, what did she even learn about him? The first two months were spent in her having one fixed opinion of him, and the last two passed in having that very same idea be utterly dismantled. She might know the name of his favorite perfume, or the foods he disliked, but that didn’t mean she knew the very core of him. There was a whole life that he kept secret from her and one definitive proof of it is right there in front of her.

She glanced at Vihaan. What did their switching say about him? Would he really do anything for a price? Even sleep with another man’s wife? She trembled as hot tears burned her eyes. She didn’t want to believe that either. He had his self-respect that he took so much pride in after all. But what if he did? Maybe sleeping with her didn’t cross any limits for him.

She closed her eyes and quietly cried.

What did that say about her? Was she really that blind that she couldn’t discern the touch between two different men? Behavior wise she had known there was a stark difference in Vansh. She was never able to pinpoint why he would become so hot or cold at a moment’s notice, but she had always thought it was her fault. It was because of something that she said or did that had pissed him off so much. She knew she made some seriously grave mistakes but there were things that she never did and would still be blamed for. Like the placement of the letter in their room. Vansh didn’t even bother to listen to her. Just yelled at her, and then left.

Her heart caved in when she remembered how he had made her legs go numb. Who did that? Vansh or Vihaan? Just a few days ago, Vihaan had tied her to the bedpost just to put the eye drops in. An act of protection if she thought about it. Hadn’t Vansh said the same? That he was paralyzing her just to protect her? She weakly laughed to herself. Hurting her just to protect her. Now wasn’t that ironic.

Vihaan lifted his head and looked down at her. His lips, glistening wet, enticed her. She reached a hand out and touched his cheek. He turned his head to kiss her palm.

_ Ghoor thi raho. Acha lagta hai. _

Riddhima slid her hand up into his hair and gently played with them. She could stare at him all day if she wanted. He had an incredibly handsome face after all. But more than because of his beauty, she foolishly hoped she would be able to find some of her answers. If she looked at him hard enough, who would she see? Her husband, or a complete stranger?

What if he was Vansh? What did he want from her right now? Was he testing her loyalty? Was he seducing her to see if she would kiss Vihaan, or maybe do something more? But what if she didn’t and he blamed her for failing to recognize him through their touch? After all the moments they had spent together, she couldn’t even remember him that much? But she did remember him. Every little thing that Vihaan did to remind her of Vansh was pointed out. So what on earth was he waiting for?

But what if he was Vihaan? Was having her an added bonus to being Vansh Raisinghania? Was it just lust for him? He couldn’t go out to satisfy himself so might as well fck the wife to relieve himself?

Is that all she was for them? Just a body to consume, a toy to play with, a prize to claim?

Riddhima turned away and closed her eyes. Did her desires mean nothing to them?

She was so stupid to think that she could ever be entitled to love. Just how many times was she told this by the other kids at school?

_ You don’t have parents because they don’t love you. _

_ No one loves you. _

_ Why would anyone ever love you? _

“Riddhima.” Vihaan softly called, while wiping her tears.

But she did deserve love. She turned to look at Vihaan and she saw nothing but an abundance of it. Or was that her just projecting and hoping it was love when really it wasn’t? Even if she wanted to be touched by that love, she couldn’t. The mere idea of Vansh stopped her from reaching out to it. Is this how she was supposed to live out the rest of her life? To know, and see the world of love that was waiting for her but to reject it at every turn just because she was scared that Vansh might come one day and accuse her of being something incredibly vile.

Her throat feeling heavy, she lowered her head, and cried again.

“Riddhima, talk to me.” Vihaan cupped her face and continued to wipe her every tear.

What can she even say and to who? She didn’t even know the name of the man before her and she was being asked to bear her heart out to him.

She doesn’t know if what she did was right or wrong, but she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. Who was she hugging, why was she hugging him, she didn’t know. She should be pushing him away and demanding for the complete and honest truth. But she was just so damn tired. Tired of being played with. Tired of being lied to. Tired of having her heart be shattered into pieces when it was just trying to remold itself.

She pulled away from him but stayed close enough to keep their foreheads connected. She looked down at his lips and wanted nothing more than to just kiss him. She lightly scratched his cheek. Just how long has she been lonely? Denied her desires in fear of not being wanted or loved in the way she wanted to be? Would it be so wrong for her to just give in for once?

“Riddhima, talk to me  _ please _ .” There was sincerity in his voice, but whose voice was it?

She supposed it doesn’t matter. As it turned out, they were both strangers to her. Maybe that’s all that this night had to be. A moment shared between two strangers and then they both go their own separate ways. A one night stand. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Will you love me?” She asked quietly. His eyes widened. “Just for tonight. Like you really mean it.”

“Riddhima, I-”

“Please.” She hated how her voice came out in a desperate cry. “Just once. Just once I want to feel loved. Please. Just, just love me.”

She pressed a watery kiss to his lips but then hung her head when her tears overpowered her. He wiped them but it wasn’t enough. She didn’t want his tender care. What was the point when she was going to be devoid of it tomorrow? Hardening herself just a little bit, she kissed him again. It didn’t take long for him to reciprocate it.

Their kisses became short and frantic, and soon they were stripped naked and entangled into one.

He had asked her, “Are you sure you want this?”

Riddhima didn’t waste a second in giving him a reply. She didn’t want time to rethink her choices. She just needed to feel  _ something _ other than the immense pain that was eating her up alive. So she had pulled him in for a kiss and he took that as a yes. Her arms and legs wrapped around him, she had buried her face in his neck as he moved within her.

Vansh, Vihaan; Vihaan, Vansh. She didn’t know who it was but they got what they wanted. Vansh can finally get his revenge. He can call her whatever vile thing he wanted for sleeping with Vihaan and finally kick her out of his life. Plus, he managed to get a night’s worth of fck out of her so that shouldn’t be so bad for him. It was the same for Vihaan. All these days that he went around openly flirting with her, finally bore its fruit. He got her and can now walk around his chest puffed out over how he gained another conquest.

Riddhima broke into a sob. Once again, she was left with nothing. This one act that should bring immense joy to whoever partakes in it - she couldn’t even touch the happiness or bliss it brought.

The man above her stilled and looked at her in horror. “Riddhima, what’s wrong?”

She couldn’t say anything. He immediately pulled out, and she turned to her side. Curling into a fetal position, she never felt the dirtiest and most depraved as she did in that moment.

A cloth was put around her, and a request was made again. “Riddhima would you  _ please _ talk to me. What’s going on?”

She hunched further in on herself. She didn’t even know whose name to take. Should she take Vansh’s? The man who promised to protect her from any and all troubles that may come her way? Or Vihaan’s? The man who stood by her and helped her face every single problem? Who did she even want anymore?

What a stupid question. It should obviously be Vansh. He was her husband after all. But how can she be certain? They used to switch right?

Married one man and slept with another. She supposed she was no less than a woman on the street. Or maybe she was worse. They at least knew who was in their bed at night.

Riddhima’s cries quieted and she became numb. A pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her close.

“I’ll be here whenever you want to talk.”

But she wouldn’t.


End file.
